everything is still sinking, not hitting,
but the fact that there is only 8 days left to prepare for Vietnam and Mexico missions is. getting real. how can it not be real with only 8 days left. omgee.
my mom was gone for a week now, but i have not been home except to sleep. for most days. i have not talked to her since she left for korea.
my sister has been home for a month or so now, but i have not had a good talk with her or seen her face for more than 20 min yet. and i only have 8 days left with her. until thanksgiving.
The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are good, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eyes are bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. -Matthew 6:22-23
For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. -Matthew 6:21
Saturday, July 12, 2008
I turned to the Food Network, on the rare nights when I had trouble sleeping. I watched shows like Iron Chef, where numerous talented chefs presented their dish before a panel of intimidating judges. I enjoyed watching each dish become so elegant, and envied the judges who had the privilege to indulge in such masterpieces.
However, I soon realized that, while one might think that it is the judges who get the most satisfaction from the experience, it is actually the chefs who do. Selecting the ingredients, cooking the meal, and watching faces light up give the experience all its value. The chefs do not let criticisms affect their love or vision for their career; such is the attitude I’ve come to embrace through the experience of studying at a nearby community college in my senior year.
Coming from a highly competitive high school, I dared to question why we put so much effort, time, and even heart into our 4.0’s. It wasn’t that I didn’t value excelling at academics, but I was skeptical about the true meanings the A’s, B’s, and 2400’s carried for each student. It was as if we were passive consumers of our grades: letting every grade weigh on our moods, even our outlooks on life. I wondered, shouldn’t it be the other way around? Shouldn’t our longing for knowledge and impact intimidate the A’s and the B’s, the countless hours spent for a club?
Then I heard about College Advantage, a program that offered a college classroom experience to seniors. I applied, for I wanted to build my interests and potential now rather than wait for my future to “arrive”. At De Anza, I indulged myself in acquiring knowledge that fascinated me in its significance and application to the world. Although my psychology grade was solely based on four tests with questions derived directly from the text, I looked forward to each lecture. My existing interest in biology and new interest in psychology have led me to take psychobiology next quarter. My English class has proved the phrase “looking is not seeing”: we used semiotics to dissect popular culture and politics. I realized the importance of being aware of what we read, watch, and listen to, for everything we’re bombarded with affects us to the extent that it shapes our culture. Yet what intrigues me is how we can choose what we surround ourselves with.
I want to be the true chef of the experience: not the one who allows the words of her critics to perturb her world but the one who puts something out there for the world everyday. She understands that her passion is much more powerful than any word or rating. She also believes that, as the social-cognitive theorists in my psychology textbook put it, “people are meant to be active seekers and interpreters of information, not just responders to environmental influences.”
my uc essay... well one of them. time flies yo.
However, I soon realized that, while one might think that it is the judges who get the most satisfaction from the experience, it is actually the chefs who do. Selecting the ingredients, cooking the meal, and watching faces light up give the experience all its value. The chefs do not let criticisms affect their love or vision for their career; such is the attitude I’ve come to embrace through the experience of studying at a nearby community college in my senior year.
Coming from a highly competitive high school, I dared to question why we put so much effort, time, and even heart into our 4.0’s. It wasn’t that I didn’t value excelling at academics, but I was skeptical about the true meanings the A’s, B’s, and 2400’s carried for each student. It was as if we were passive consumers of our grades: letting every grade weigh on our moods, even our outlooks on life. I wondered, shouldn’t it be the other way around? Shouldn’t our longing for knowledge and impact intimidate the A’s and the B’s, the countless hours spent for a club?
Then I heard about College Advantage, a program that offered a college classroom experience to seniors. I applied, for I wanted to build my interests and potential now rather than wait for my future to “arrive”. At De Anza, I indulged myself in acquiring knowledge that fascinated me in its significance and application to the world. Although my psychology grade was solely based on four tests with questions derived directly from the text, I looked forward to each lecture. My existing interest in biology and new interest in psychology have led me to take psychobiology next quarter. My English class has proved the phrase “looking is not seeing”: we used semiotics to dissect popular culture and politics. I realized the importance of being aware of what we read, watch, and listen to, for everything we’re bombarded with affects us to the extent that it shapes our culture. Yet what intrigues me is how we can choose what we surround ourselves with.
I want to be the true chef of the experience: not the one who allows the words of her critics to perturb her world but the one who puts something out there for the world everyday. She understands that her passion is much more powerful than any word or rating. She also believes that, as the social-cognitive theorists in my psychology textbook put it, “people are meant to be active seekers and interpreters of information, not just responders to environmental influences.”
my uc essay... well one of them. time flies yo.
top 3 advice from dad for college :
1) be open-minded with people (their background, beliefs, ideas...)
2) time-management.
3) don't think too seriously about a problem. surprisingly the solution is often a very simple one.
he told me that he thinks that a person's maturity is measured by how understanding we become of a diversity of backgrounds... religion, social status, political beliefs... developing people skills and such. learning to be 'okay' with their beliefs, though different from yours, is crucial and most desirable, he said. i told him, i agree that it is important, but i think there's got to be more... understanding them, then... caring for them...
it's interesting how he said, you are not going to go anywhere or gain anything by thinking about what you're losing in a relationship.
time-management. need i say more. and just having some... physical strength/good habits/health
i agree on some level that often times 'solutions' are quite simple contrary to how complicated we make a problem appear to be (whether it'd be relationships, financial problems, internal conflicts? i don't know about the last one.). but i told him that the solution may be simple... but the process to get there may not be so. it may really be as complicated as it seems, esp. with relationships.
i asked him... then what are some things that we should take seriously... because i told him, it's scary how it's a matter of how you look at things. because it really is, dependent on how you think... you could be so hopeful, but you could also fall so easily. and he told me the things you seriously think about should be of your own... other people-related shouldn't be.
then i asked... but how about if you simplifying it makes it 'easier' for you, or 'solves' it for you, but it burdens the other or doesn't do anything for the other? he said then you need to give it up. i think he meant just let it be. things you can't help
but man. i will never get out of this because 'my issues' and 'other people-related' ones are constantly interacting.
i asked him what are you most worried about me going to college?
he told me... meeting people, interacting/forming relationships with them, not necessarily the getting along part but just the emotional stress from them. i agree with this part
it was a pretty meaningful conversation i had with him over dinner.
it's just me and him in the house right now.
i am going to have one of these with my mom when she comes back,
boy am i going to be in confusion/conflict after that one. haha. they're so different. nearly opposites. but so am i... but i am also in need of their experience and wisdom.
more than that, i think it's important to show them that their opinions and their beings are still valuable to me.
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
july 7th, 08
... did you have any idea that you'd be where you are today four years ago? three years ago? an year ago? a month ago...?
no, i did not...
...so why not trust me with the next four years also?
no, i did not...
...so why not trust me with the next four years also?
Sunday, July 6, 2008
to read:
1) everything you need to know before college - matthew paul turner
2) secret things of God - henry cloud
3) boundaries - henry cloud & john townsend
4)theology book. really.
5)the Bible... at least finish the Epistles before vietnam
to watch:
1)wall-e
2)finding neverland :)
for self:
1)spend a day by self, with God at mt. hermon
2)get acquainted with holga. make some good images
3)get acquainted with macbook arriving in couple days :)
4)indulge in nell and rollercoaster music
5)get acquainted with guitar yet to be purchased&claimed&played
6)manage money better (eat out less, try to save gas, think of more less pricey... activities, figure out the whole 'having-my-own-account' thing)
7)start journaling again...
8)morning prayers, at least saturdays
9)brush up on my biking skills =__=... as i may be biking in sd
