I exalt You,

with my heart, I worship You 

I exalt You, 

for You give me life. 

I exalt You, 

with my mind, I worship You 

I exalt You, 

for You give me life. 

You give me life, 

You give me breath, 

You give me a heart, to love You with. 

And all I can do, 

is worship You... 

It's been You all along, it couldn't have been anything or anyone but You.

Without You I am nothing; Apart from You I have no good thing.

short & ... sweet

why, hello :) 

trying to tag along with some talented kids

cutie

cuties 

with new-spiffy-awana-polos-that-you-can't-really-wear-for-other-occasions-haha :)

beloved lawn at rivermark 

i knew i'd see the day pinkberry would come to the bayy

oh santana row, you're so artificial but a guilty pleasure.

splitting $3 cupcake with a good buddy over a good talk :) 

goodbye, hello

Home

Feels funny to be home alone at... home. 

You know what's really funny. 

I feel like the only person who feels home at our home is Mochi. 

He looks so comfortable, huh. :) 

Umma asked if I'd like to trade my camera with hers (a Canon Rebel XTi, meaning a DSLR will be mine... I did not stop myself from expressing this excitement at the dentist this morning, and the receptionist was trying to stop himself from getting freaked out by my reaction). 

But you know what's funny, I don't think I want to trade. My less-in-quality-but-more-compact-and-friendly Canon has grown on me. 

I can't deny that I've changed since September. Especially the past few months. Change is a funny word though. Or, it carries so many connotations that I actually feel doesn't describe my experience, or what 'happened'. Change tends to imply that you have shifted from your original self or original passions, who-you-are, your 'default'... but I think, what I've 'gone through' and 'seen' the past few months has done the opposite- it has drawn me to where I feel that I belong, make me feel more in tune and more expressive of who I really am- who and what I've been afraid to show, and it has definitely been a process of realization of the person He has made me to be. If anything, it's been identifying and removing those things that have prevented me from doing so. And listening more to who He says I am, and why. 

Everything I type is getting red-lined because I changed (haha) my macbook to Spanish. And my cell phone. Mm, and this is... As I'm typing this I am reminded again of how powerful it is when someone or something points out or 'red-line's what you express. Part of yourself, who you are. To think that something's wrong with you, because something outside of yourself suggests it. This is turning into a musing I didn't expect when I started this blog (I just wanted to show off my cat, actually HAHA), but it's cool... :) Anyways, what I want to say now is: I realize that's not a good reason why you should think something is wrong. You should realize whose voice that is and see, whose voice is really worth trusting, whose opinion really matters... and is freaking TRUE, ahaha. 

Another unexpected side-reassurance: Hmm, why would I turn down an opportunity to get a DSLR that I 'obviously' 'without doubt' wished to have, and aimed to have, someday in the future when I save up... to keep my old camera? That's in many ways implied to be more professional? Hm. Hm Hm Hm. My old camera is more personal. In my choice to keep him instead of trade him for a more 'professional' camera, I am telling him I value him more, because of all the personal things he has carried for me. Despite how the world tells him how he's 'less' in value. Will for me. Hehe. 

Wow. This is kind of freaky. I am still home alone and my mom's iPod alarm just started playing, Santa Baby. 

I want them to see it though.  I don't want what's 'happened' to turn me away or make me grow indifferent towards the before-s. I want to care even more. 

Off to familiar locations I am :) Beloved Panera. Possibly a friend's house to enjoy my newly acquired skill together.

The more I seek You

the more I find You 

the more I find You 

the more I love You 

And it

never

ends

...

and, I wouldn't trade it for anything else.

who would???!!

Five or so days on the mountain in Palomar, manuscripting Mark 1 for seven hours a day, seeing His Kingdom in ways I could not even have imagined, not only in the text in amazing ways but in the room, in me, around me... I could not help but fall more in love with the King and how He brings His Kingdom. 

This week was definitely heavy, in a good way. Really, really good... and all these things, they all take me to the place where I can only stand in awe. 

He definitely honors it when we seek- 

You mean so much to me it leaves me speechless..

and All I can do, is worship You. 

I am officially alone in la suite. 

It's funny, last time I was the first one to leave on a Tuesday afternoon for the airport, haha. 

Finally doing the very overdue laundry... Haha. 

Spring cleaning :D 

Overdue decorating :) 

Play and sing with Aslan with no fear :) 

I like this :) 

and God is faithful. 

I asked to be amazed through what He shows me yesterday, even though it's a very unscheduled day surrounded with.. low population. and He did. Fo.sho. 

Ready to be amazed at Spring Retreat starting tomorrow whoooo. 

Excited to be home even for two days. 

:) And everything after.

 

It's easy to quiet my mouth... to physically remove myself...

It's a lot harder to quiet my mind, even with no 'mandatory' or 'scheduled' things I need to be doing. 

I definitely learned to appreciate 'free' time at a whole new level, oh finals week. 

But yeah, I found it hard to free myself from being 'occupied'... 

I realize, the only time I am able to 'quiet my mind', is when I pray. 

Walking and commuting, sitting, even with the intention to be 'still'... it's hard when I don't pray. It's a matter of minutes before my mind wanders or something else gets my attention. Duh Soomin... 

I wrote this around an year ago: 'I want to be free, but can I ever be free from my thoughts?' , around my toughest time.. and now, His timing of just.. amazing revelation through prayer an year later. Wow. Prayer = freedom. 

I want You to teach me. 

How do You want me to hold them? 

Without holding onto them too tight, 

but tight enough because I know they're precious to You? 

Always remembering they are Yours. 

I had a good thirty minute phone conversation with the madre this morning. It was good. She's been reading... really reading the Word and I could tell her heart has softened. It blew me away when she said that she is not so worried because God will make a path for her. Dahh... God You are so faithful. 

And  It was funny when she was giving me a lecture on my doing-things-last-minute habit (which I deserve to hear) about tuition and things and compared it to 'missing a bus' (that I would need to catch, can't just hop on another, I am guessing)... And somehow, about how if I don't manage to find a boy in college, there's always grad school and work... Haha I swear my mom wants me to date. 

I won't be afraid of the future

or carry the weight of the past

I'll be still and know that You are God~ 

--edit 

 

I am so excited for the fuhreeeee, meaning-nothing-I-need-to-be-doing-but-free-for-things-I've-wanted-to-do-and-then-some-room-for-spontaneity days before spring retreat. Of course I'm stoked for spring retreat. But before that, I definitely want to: 

- take 1 day out as a retreat for myself. just sit with no time limit in mind and go wherever from there. :)

- spend much quality time with Aslan

- attempt barred chords and picking.

- decorate la suite! it's not too late. 

- go on a bus adventure? with my baby (mi camera): 

- living room 

- downtown la jolla in general 

- balboa park 

teheheh. 

before that though :( feeling pressed on time but I can't concentrate. Currently bloated and distracted at hi thai. Discovered a new satisfying caffeinated drink though. 

Thank You for breathing meaning into everything I do...

F R E E

When He meant free, He meant   

                                F  R  E   E

Now the word is starting to look funny, as I stare at it. But, really. True freedom. From your fears. Insecurities. Doubts. Mistaken needs.Unsatisfying pursuits. Wounds. Burdens. Lies. Who doesn't want that?!    

I know HE really, really wants that. Wants that to be known and believed. Reflected in our lives. For me. For us.

The way we were made to be.  Most free and alive in Him and only in Him. 

 

And I would give the world 

To tell Your story 

Cause I know that You've called me

I know that You've called me

I've lost myself for good 

Within Your promise

And I won't hide it

I won't hide it

...

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.

He maketh me to lie down in green pastures:
he leadeth me beside the still waters.

He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the
paths of righteousness for his name's sake.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the
shadow of death; I will fear no evil: for thou
art with me; thy rod and thy staff they
comfort me.

Thou preparest a table before me in the
presence of mine enemies: thou anointest
my head with oil; my cup runneth over.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all
the days of my life; and I will dwell in the
house of the Lord for ever.

Psalm 23 

I heart...

-Discovering delicious coffee at a new location. Thanks Siwei!

-Unwinding on Friday afternoons. TGIF.

-This weather. Thanks God.

-The pottery class that meets on Thursday nights at Crafts Center. Puheh stalker status. Thanks Strike's GF for reminding me. 

-Our Provost. I saw him @ The Art of Coffee today. Keke. Creeper again. 

-Jon Foreman.  Thanks Natalie Fav. for more for my poor iTunes library. 

-Having conversations with people comfortably enough to look at them in the eye. My Asian side comes out when I do this.. haha my eyes usually kind of drift when I look at people's faces for a while. 

-April: Joanna's coming to SD :), Hillsong, & FOREMAN, new classes. MAE too in May. 

-Being excited to tell a friend about something who will be as excited as you are about what you're about to tell them :) 

-Really nice strangers who don't take your credit card or laptop after you've left them. 

-Professors who let you re-take quizzes that you missed because you overslept... Hehe. Even if she didn't though, I'd still heart her. 

-God doing His thing. His intentional interconnected spontaneities that keep blowing me away. 

-Knowing that as long as I'm in His arms, I'll be where I need to be, despite, and especially in this what-seems-like-a-lot-of-decisions-to-make-time. 

-Friends who confirm that with their stories :) 

edit::: 

I have fallen in love with a foreign place that I never knew existed. I can't believe I spent a good 3 hours looking up information and pictures about this city & country...

Valparaiso, Chile <3

-It's not so touristy as Spain 

-It is quite influenced by Europe, but still rich in Latin American culture

-Chile is a really... long... country. Therefore has all kinds of landscapes... 

-My professor's from here

-I actually have an Asian building..mate who grew up in Chile and Spanish is her first language, and I think that's soo cool. 

-Someone's quote who has gone: 

"My semester in Chile was a myriad of experiences. Daily classes with the eclectic professors at the University of Conception infused my Spanish with history, idiom, and confidence. I read Chilean Nobel poets over coffee and chatted Latin politics with my host family over dinner. More than any South American country, chile is the complex snapshot of globalization, where horse carts and Audis vie for city parking and native Mapuche Indians struggle against hydroelectric projects on ancestral lands. All of this is nestled with the memories of glacier-draped Torres del Paine, surfboards arcing across waves on countless beaches, and immense northern deserts whispering 'explore us' by bus, bike, and foot. Nothing quite describes how this country feels until you actually live in it!"

Sounds pretty amazing. 

I am so blessed.

Reflection

Let everything be a reflection. Of who You are, out of honoring the kind of God that You are, of who You've been to me, of all the things You've blessed me with, of all the ways You've blown me away, of my love for You, of my need for You, of Your love for others. 

Dah. Thank you for being a God of simplicity and renewal. 

"Well done, good and faithful servant."

참 잘했어, 수민아.

듣고 싶다.
그 한 분한테서 듣고싶다.

I want to sign Your name, at the end of each day, and that day,

knowing that my heart was true.