Wednesday, December 31, 2008

2008




"our year"- most eventful, filled, fun, exciting year. also included a most difficult season. there were many opportunities I am so thankful for and I think I grew in many ways... 


twas the senior year though i attended De Anza, which i am so thankful for for the units it has covered for me & just the preview of the "college experience" & growing in knowledge for subjects that intrigue me



senior ski/snowboarding trip! where i learned how to snowboard for the first time!!!


senior promm


sunrise after senior all night party with LTV


graduation...

graduating youth group...


gah coldplay concert!! <3




vietnam...





mexico...

college!!

suitemates :)

intervarsity <3



and i also learned how to knit. 







ah. there were much much more. so much much to remember and record and feel and tell. the best year by far. thanks 2008. 

how can I keep from singing Your praise?

Walking, stumbling
On these shadow feet
Toward home, a land that I've never seen
I am changing
Less and less asleep

Made of different stuff than when I began

And I have sensed it all along
Now fast approaching is the day

When the world has fallen out from under me
I'll be found in You, still standing
When the sky rolls up and mountains fall on their knees
When time and space are through
I'll be found in You

There's distraction
Buzzing in my head
Saying in the shadows it's easier to stay
But I've heard rumours of true reality
Whispers of a well-lit way

You make all things new


When the world has fallen out from under me
I'll be found in you, still standing
Every fear and accusation under my feet
When time and space are through
I'll be found in you
When time and space are through
I'll be found in you
When time and space are through
I'll be found in you




Thursday, December 25, 2008

Others


That's all great, but how about them? 

Those things are all great, God has blessed you immensely, but how about the people in your family, the people you pass by, people you greet, your friends, the friends that you feel that you've stopped "trying" towards... ? And those you decided is too inconvenient and second nature to you to keep in touch with? 

Some thing my mom said this morning while we were tying ribbons to the Burt's Bees lip balms for her co-workers reminded me.



Purify my heart. 
Break my heart for what breaks Yours, God. 
Help me not miss what You're all about.

I want to go to retreat with just that in mind. 


So what was I doing an year ago...


'i think the peak of the craziness was when
i was about to go to four different schools in 1 day. for 4 different reasons
and when i left my friends TI 89 at gunn high school.
when i had 5 java monsters in the fridge.
when i took 4 SAT/ACT tests in 2 months.
oh yes the uc apps. when everyone IMed me after they
submitted theirs and told me that they forgot something
and even after that. i forgot something too.

well that is all over !! wow i am quite proud of myself.
not just keeping up but turning to God for strength.

i felt kind of sad when
i sold 1 of my textbooks to get a bus fee
and my lunch. hahahaha
but i imagine i'm going to have those moments in college, and in lifee'




Oh sigh. hahaha... 
I am currently home alone in my electric blanket. My mom is at work because hospitals do not go on holidays. My dad should have stepped foot on the Korean soil by now. My sister is I think at an airport to drop the new bf off. Oh just kidding, I am not home alone. My two cats are somewhere being lazy... 

What better time than this to move all my 3-4 years worth of pictures from my desktop to my laptop. And read back and smile to myself of course. And think about how good He has been, especially in 2008. Before I start packing and getting ready for retreat tomorrow... Then San Diego will come very quickly, and hello again, sleep-deprived, fast-paced, caffeinated, exciting, always-something-going-on weeks. Not saying there will be no time for reflection, but yeah. It's different for sure... No more musings during the long drives without music in the car. 





Found this on my xanga, dated almost exactly an year ago. 

2007 in navy
2008 in salmon

1. What did you do in 2007(/2008) that you'd never done before?

so many things. off the top of my head, um.. college apps, ride on an ATV, go carting, drive, go visit Korea (well 1st trip in 8 yrs), go to New York (actually i did in 2000 but i dont remember much)... watch a musical on broadway!, prom, take a photography class, caltrain, take the bus!, classes @ de anza... uh. SAT's. haha. many many many more.

Leading. Taking a philosophy class to challenge my faith. Taking an astronomy class (that I really do not deserve a B in). Learning about... the world, quite literally. Through my sociology classes and through the amazing professor at De Anza. Caring about the election. Studying other religions through my sociology of religion class by same professor. College. Vietnam Missions. Graduating high school. Missed a flight. Pedicure. Visited my sister in San Luis Obispo. Threw an axe at her school. Visited Berkeley. Drove in the rain. Crashed and scratched few... things. InterVarsity. Looked for a church personally. Live with strangers, at least in the beginning. Stay at a library for 14 hours straight. Picked up a guitar and named it Aslan. Used my Spanish in Mexico. Used a plastic camera. Most recent: talked about boys with my dad?!! If you know our relationship, that is a wow. What's truly amazing is: talking about God and my dad's relationship with Him with him. :)... Even more than last year for sure. Most packed, eventful, stimulating year for sure. 



2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

i don't think i really made specific new years' resolutions, just expecting much from God. and yes, once again, He overfilled over and over my expectations

Same answer as last year... Except for next year, I have specific ones for me to stay as close to Him... 

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

 rachel samoneem? haha

Yes! My cousin's wife! Yay :)

4. Did anyone close to you die? 

No

Nope

5. What countries did you visit? 

Korea, Mexico

Vietnam, Mexico, Korea 

6. What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007? 

driving skills and a car. get a job, and more time, always

Hehe I achieved all of the above in 2008 except... the last one (?).

7. What date from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

 i don't remember dates... just moments. unless i look them up.

Same answer as 2007.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? 

no ONE thing really pops out. but i am quite proud of myself this year. not just achievements... but yeah

I think college is a good one. Getting adjusted, plugged in, seeking His direction. 

9. What was your biggest failure? 

i don't know... that's good. haha

I feel that I wouldn't know, until later.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? 

haha my first broken bone. it was sad.

I was seriously as healthy as ever =__=... Only one who did not get sick this summer throughout all the trips. But spiritually and mentally, yes.


11. What was the best thing you bought? 

um.... my express jeans! i wore them way too much. haha -__- i dont know.

MY IPOD. & Macbook. Except... My dad bought both of them for me. Thank you ahh

14. Where did most of your money go? 

food... -__- like last year.. and the year before...

sammeee

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? 

new york. korea.

Graduation, Vietnam, San Diego, COLDPLAY CONCERT. KOREAN food every time in college. Hahaha.  oOoOh and DRIVING.

16. What song will always remind you of 2007/2008? 

many
a couple.

Compared to this time last year, are you:

17. Thinner or fatter? 

i have no clue. haha probably the same
Freshman 15 in progress... T_T? That will change in 2009! >:) yeah right -.-

18. Richer or poorer? 

richer in blessings
for sure. poorer in $ for sure too haha but it's okay. 

19. What do you wish you'd done more of? 

more people time in the beginning of yr. keep in touch. but it's all good.
Praying. Reading.

20. What do you wish you'd done less of? worrying, stressing...
All the time spent instead of praying and reading.

21. How will you be spending Christmas? i don't know
This is how I'm spending Christmas. Haha :)

22. Did you fall in love in 2007? did YOU fall in lav in 2007. haha yes... with many things... fell out of love with many things as well. but most of them came back?
Will I fall in love in 2009.

24. What was your favorite TV program? uh... moo han do jun? don't watch it much anymore. i don't watch tv =l
Still not a watcher. College friends look at me like this O_O whenever I say, I have never watched ____ /a full episode of ____ 

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? no
Nope...

26. What was the best book you read? east of eden. hehe
Romans, Job (especially the last chapters when He responds. Owned.). & So You Want to Be like Christ?

27. What was your greatest musical discovery? imeem. haha
Playing the guitar myself! & Bands-wise: The Shins, Justin Nozuka and the more mellow fellows' stuff. 

28. What did you want and get? lots of food. like pizooki
MY NEW CAMERA. CANON POWERSHOT SD 880 upgraded version of the SD 870 that I have been eyeing months ago . and actually lots of things... and opportunities, I am so blessed.

29. What did you want and not get? uh... i don't remember. oh an iPod. i decided not to get one for now. Clothes.

30. What was your favorite film of this year? hmmm... pirates 3? noo ratatouille! Wall*E? Maybe it's the only one I've watched this year though =__=

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? not yet. turning 18 eww
I am turning 19 tomorrow.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? nothing. Nothing :) Already been given what is infinitely satisfying.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007/2008? uh... i got more interested in fashion?
Currently: as many layers as I can in this freaking cold weather. 
Summer: as comfortable and not-really-care-for t-shirts for missions.
College: want to look cute but usually end up going to class in sweatshirts and jeans, sometimes in pj's =___=

34. What kept you sane? God, photo. music. kids. bambi. my journal!! how could i forget.
God

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? no one particular
I like Zooey Deschanel a lot, for her style. But don't know much about her. And she's a musician too, how cool. Though I have not listened to it.
Oh.
Obama.


36. What political issue stirred you the most? ... i am kind of ashamed that i don't know too much about politics, i hope my socio class winter quarter will open my eyes. haha
The presidential election.
Prop 8. 


37. Who did you miss? a lot of people
Some old faces :)

38. Who was the best new person you met? who would answer this question. haha and i don't really have oNE
I really feel blessed to have met numerous people who truly want to please and be pleased in Him in college.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2007: this i will save for new years eve. <3 >
God is not limited to circumstances, time, cultures, your feelings, anything... He will continue to be who He is. He doesn't stop when you stop keeping up, doesn't stop when you fall short... 

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year: nicole nordeman - every season
Jason Upton - No Sacrifice (Thanks to Natalie :) ) 





Ah.

I need a retreat.





I think it's always a good place. To want, to feel the need to retreat, just lay at His feet as His child. Broken. Needing Direction. Thirsty. Unsatisfied. Overwhelmed. Yet thankful. 




Edit: Wow, total coincidence that it was posted at 12:25 AM. Merry Christmas! Happy birthday Jesus... I wish your birthday would be so real to us. 

Sunday, December 21, 2008


So now I am camera-less... (except for my lovely but expensive-and-lengthy-to-develop holga) But.

Yesterday I discovered something that just made me go :))) 
  • Like the thirty-nine books of the Old Testament, the first thirty-nine chapters in Isaiah speaks of sin, its ugliness & consequences... 
  • Like the twenty-seven books of the New Testament, the next twenty-seven chapters in Isaiah contains the message of hope, comfort, and God's justice <3
God totally planned that. Just like EVERYTHING ELSE... This kind of hit me as I was talking to someone online, and I just went, "Wow, what a great line, because it's so. TRUE" 

Yes. So now I am going to read the last twenty-seven chapters of Isaiah. 

Watching Aslan in Narnia: Prince Caspian on Blue-Ray is pretty encouraging too. 

My God is so big, so strong and so mighty. There's nothing my God cannot do... 





Wednesday, December 17, 2008



































i'm always drawn to branches. i don't know why. they kind of remind me of neurons. haha what an unartistic parallel. eh. maybe not though. they are also the work of the first artist. it's like, all these big and small branches stemming from wherever don't know what to do with themselves. and somehow they end up reaching towards the sky. like thoughts of mine i guess. the most serious to the teeny worries to random musings. of course i don't think about these things as i take these pictures. haha. 




Monday, December 15, 2008

More quotable quotes by strangers

On Caltrain with a bunch of kids (that I do not know of, looks like they're going to a field trip): 

Boy 1: My dad is so muscular! 

(different conversation)
Boy 2: What's the name of our president, again? 
Boy 3:  Obama. Barack Obama. 
Boy 2: Yeah. I named my hamster Barack Obama. 


Hahaha, it amused me and I thought... Oh the effects of media on kids. 


Today in the bathrooms @ Panera, I walked into a lady changing a baby's diaper on the floor: 

Baby lies there. As babies do. Helplessly. 
Lady: Now now it's not polite to look under the stalls. 

Haha. 





Tuesday, December 9, 2008

and the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts...


Spiritual reality & prayer...
Remain in me, and I will remain in you. Apart from me you cannot bear any fruit... 

It only takes minutes for my thoughts to go the wrong direction. 



I am finished with Fall Quarter. 
I'm home quite early compared to most folks, and I hope to make the most out of this time by just... listening, reflecting, being still (it will not get easier as we get older).



I hope I don't try to use my own knowledge or understanding to try to organize it into something that works. But listen to Him- know that it's from Him. 




You are still silent on this one... 
But I know what You did was not for me to bear it all on my shoulders, but the opposite- It's so that I will have a choice not to let it eat me up... It all points back to Your character. 

You are and You have been so good to me...




Friday, December 5, 2008










지금이 아닌 언젠가
여기가 아닌 어딘가
나를 받아줄
그곳이 있을까
가난한 나의 영혼을
숨기려 하지 않아도
나를 안아줄
사람이 있을까
목마른 가슴 위로
태양은 타오르네
내게도 날개가 있어
날아갈수 있을까
별이 내리는 하늘이
너무 아름다워
바보처럼 나는 그저
눈물을 흘리며 서 있네
이 가슴속의 폭풍은
언제 멎으려나
바람 부는 세상에
나 홀로 서있네

풀리지 않는 의문들
정답이 없는 질문들
나를 채워줄
그 무엇이 있을까
이유도 없는 외로움
살아 있다는 괴로움
나를 안아줄
사람이 있을까
목마른 가슴 위로
태양은 타오르네
내게도 날개가 있어
날아갈수 있을까
별이 내리는 하늘이
너무 아름다워
바보처럼 나는 그저
눈물을 흘리며 서 있네
이 가슴 속의 폭풍은
언제 멎으려나
바람 부는 세상에
나 홀로 서있네
지금이 아닌 언젠가
여기가 아닌 어딘가
나를 받아줄
그곳이 있을까

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Sigh.

I'm just looking forward to La Jolla Symphony on Saturday night. 

I know if I try to put things into perspective, I could do it... Not to take pride in it... Sometimes I really wish I wasn't able to. 
It's just that sometimes I don't want to. 


Monday, December 1, 2008

suite 400


In the past 14 hours that I have been back to UCSD, my roomies and suitemate have said some interesting things that I thought were worth recording: 


1. I had just arrived back to our room... As I was unpacking, I noticed, among many other items that Ying tends to drop from the bunk above me... a skeleton of an apple on the ground. 

Me: "Okay that's pretty nasty but I will clean it this time... There's an apple skeleton lying in the corner... Gross." 
Ying: "Wait what? Oh... HAHAHAHAHA. I think I know how it got there" 
Me: "How?" 
Ying: "I fell asleep eating an apple couple days ago..." 
Me: ......... (how the heck do you do that?! =__=?!)

2. As I was commenting on how it looks weird now for me to have a ponytail with my new haircut: 

Ying: "I think it looks fine, you look like one of those Korean housewives who's about to go bake an apple pie or something" 
Me: ........ (doesn't that mean it does look weird...)


3. Today I learned what a mistletoe is: Just in case you don't know either, it's a plant that's mentioned in a lot of Christmas songs and has some meaning and something about kissing under a mistletoe. Anyways. It was pretty awkward when my suitemate told me she has an early Christmas present for me, told me to close my eyes, and held a mistletoe above my head and kissed me on the cheek, before I found out what the heck it was about. hahahahahaa ("...Um, thanks................ What is it?")




4. Just five minutes ago, Jennifer made a random comment in the middle of silence that led me to compile these into a blog. 

Jennifer: "Dang it!" 
Me: ? 
Jennifer: "I totally forgot to put gravy on my Thanksgiving dinner. Dang it... dang it..." 
Me: ....... (well... she did miss out on a lot.) 



edit// 

My mom had a mymomisafob.com moment: 

"Help me update my iPot!"