Death Cab is coming!!! In April though, : l. On a Wednesday night, though :l. 

But I am so going teheh

I was just thinking that it seems like a perfect weather to listen to this song. 

With your earphone chords under your scarf. 

I decided yesterday after my first 'jam session' ever with a friend, 

that it's time for me to attempt barred chords. And picking. And my motivation is to play Hey There Delilah and... Moon River :) 

Music makes me happy. Thanks, God. You create the best things.

 

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Just came across this article where Bono is getting interviewed: 

The interviewer marvels some more: "That's a great idea, no denying it. Such great hope is wonderful, even though it's close to lunacy, in my view. Christ has His rank among the world's great thinkers. But Son of God, isn't that farfetched?"

Bono comes back, "Look, the secular response to the Christ story always goes like this: He was a great prophet, obviously a very interesting guy, had a lot to say along the lines of other great prophets, be they Elijah, Muhammad, Buddha, or Confucius. But actually Christ doesn't allow you that. He doesn't let you off that hook. Christ says, No. I'm not saying I'm a teacher, don't call me teacher. I'm not saying I'm a prophet. I'm saying: 'I'm the Messiah.' I'm saying: 'I am God incarnate.' . . . So what you're left with is either Christ was who He said He was—the Messiah—or a complete nutcase. . . . The idea that the entire course of civilization for over half of the globe could have its fate changed and turned upside-down by a nutcase, for me that's farfetched."

For me that's farfetched too. 

When you've been given the greatest thing you could ever ask for,

I won't find what I am looking for
If I only "see" by keeping score
'Cause I know now you are so much more than arithmetic

'Cause if I add, if I subtract
If I give it all, try to take some back
I've forgotten the freedom that comes from the fact
That you are the sum
So you are the one
I want

When the years are showing on my face
And my strongest days are gone
When my heart and flesh depart this place
From a life that sung your song

You'll still be the one I want

You'll still be the one I want

Search me, O God, and know my heart;
Test me and know my anxious thoughts.

See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.

Psalm 139:23-24

Hear instruction and be wise, and do not disdain it. Blessed is the man who listens to me, watching daily at my gates, waiting at the posts of my doors. 

Proverbs 8:33-35

The Sovereign Lord has given me His words of wisdom, so that I know what to say to all these weary ones. Morning by morning He wakens me and opens my understanding to His will... Because the Sovereign Lord helps me, I will not be dismayed.

-Isaiah 50:4-7

You are the sun shining down on everyone
Light of the world giving light to everything I see
Beauty so brilliant I can hardly take it in
And everywhere You are is  warmth and light

And I am the moon with no light of my own
Still you have made me to shine
And as I glow in this cold dark night
I know I canít be a light unless I turn my face to you

You are the sun shining down on everyone
Light of the world giving light to everything I see
Beauty so brilliant I can hardly take it in
And everywhere you are is warmth and light

And I am the moon with no light of my own
Still you have made me to shine
And as I glow in this cold dark night
I know I canít be a light unless I turn my face to you

Shine on me with your light
Without you Iím a cold dark stone
Shine on me I have no light of my own
You are the sun, you are the sun, you are the sun

morning perfection(s)

admiring somebody's lawns or... somebody's creations on the way

+ arriving

+ watching others enjoy beauty

+ wondering what all those birds are doing

+ and realizing that those are not birds... they're surfers!!! wow.

+ having an intimate conversation with into-me-see

+ coincidentally-interesting-looking breakfast

+ delighting in spotting (stalking... i haven't seen them in 2 monthss) a grandpa and his welsh corgis 

= morning perfection :) 

We have a new president. Yo yo Ma's playing was just. Beautiful. Sigh. 

I realized today that I've been writing Jan. ___, 08 for the past 19 days. 

My roomies successfully dragged me to the gymna...sium for the first time yesterday. I feel it now. 

In Spanish, they call fresh water 'agua dulce' = sweet water. As opposed to salty water. Haha i think it is cute. 

The Latin world also says that there are 5 continents (excludes Antarctica, & combines N. America & S. America into 1 continent: The Americas), as opposed to our 7. 

I kind of agree more with the Spanish speaking world. But I can see why we would rather claim that there are 7. 

Today I was randomly reminded of (well, through a conversation, but this was much forgotten) the two Christian women in Mexico who drove for several hours every week just to volunteer at the extremely understaffed and underfunded convalescent home in Tijuana. It was one of the most humbling experience I've had, praying for them. 

And this shall translate into my desire to study for my quiz tomorrow, and the language, and the culture. >:) 

:D

I have rediscovered my love for John Mayer. His music that is. <333

How could I forget... songs like slow dancing in a burning room, back to you, why georgia, gravity <333

I have also lately been drawn to Ingrid Michaelson. When I first discovered her I didn't appreciate her music as I do now...  

and Gabe Bondoc and... my music taste has become noticeably more... sappy? Though I don't necessarily listen to the words. 

I can sing & play around 10 songs now. :) Aslan (my guitar) is becoming dearer and cuter to my eyes and.. hopefully ears. 

Day 2-5

things that make my world go round <3

big to small

in the physical sense at least :)

it's been a verypackedweek. i've been realizing all these little things that take up my time, such as the fact that i am the slowest packer in the world when i depart for the library/lounge and departing from the library/lounge, i take forever picking what to eat, getting everything i want to eat, walking from place to place because i like the location for that specific purpose, -.-... oy. 

i guess going from 12 units to 19 units is quite a change. but i don't want to take the easy way out. i know God wants me to go through this process, and He means for me to learn muchmuchmore than just time-management. 

no facebook and AIM makes me feel less involved and aware of things in a way, but more involved and aware of things that really matter. tis a good thing. 

i am also realizing that i really prioritize people before tasks. whether that's a good thing or a bad thing or just something i need to be aware of, i am trying to figure out. but direction is definitely needed. stewardship is definitelyyy needed. 

five days through the prayer-driven life have been pretty awesome. i am proud to say despite this probably being my busiest week ever here (so far T_T), i've also put the most effort to make room for reflection. i guess it really is time-management. I bet God had that in mind too, everyone has 24 hours, just enough for us to learn... 

and God is really funny. This just made my week. It's usually impossibly hard to find Obadiah in the Bible, right? (It's only 1 chapter long. Hidden somewhere near Isaiah in the OT). So some of my suitemates and I were talking about the books of the Bible as we were discussing HUM. Grace, one of my suitemates, comments that "nobody ever uses or reads books like... Obadiah". And RIGHT then, Elaine, another suitemate- OPENS IT STRAIGHT TO OBADIAH. wow. amajing. and THEN... the next day, I tell my small group that I think God is really funny because of that incident.  and RIGHT when I say that, Holly, who was sitting right next to me... OPENS HER BIBLE STRAIGHT TO OBADIAH again. Wow. It's not even like it was because it was the same Bible and had a marking or whatever. And... not even at random times but like.. when it was being referred to??? God is really funny. The Creator of humor must be funny. 

Day 1 (yesterday)

blurry, slightly long shutter speed, held as steadily as possible on my palm pictures of the path that i frequently take with a cell phone close to my ears. due to darkness and many shadows. 

I really enjoy those 365 projects where they take 1 picture to represent each day. Someday I shall embark on the journey myself. Maybe I will do a 21 project hmm...

I wanted to make my blog prettier. Did it work? Hehe. 

This is Adorable

Pretty lovely, right? 

I did not take these pictures...

Neither did another person... 

But Cooper did: 

Cooper the Cat Photographer

It amused me quite a bit. It made me smile in the midst of a work-filled weekend. Some pictures have quite a composition and lighting, none of them were altered haha. I think it's cute because it shows the pathways of your cat. What he/she "sees" throughout the day. Where he goes. 

Maybe i'll try that on my cats someday... haha

One of the Attempt to Un-clutter the Mind Blogs

It's the first Friday night in San Diego of the second quarter. 

I am... sleep deprived, kind of all over the place, kind of stressed, anticipating, proud (just learned a new song on guitar :) ), blessed, fighting, praying. 

I need to learn better time management. I thought I was pretty okay at it, but college makes you wish you had more than 24 hours a day. And I am only a freshwoman. Who is not on top of her classes at all. I don't know how I'm going to be next quarter, next next... next year... 

It's been hard to be fully immersed in the world of Ancient Greece & Odysseus's world, then interested in the world of vectors, trying to prioritize learning Spanish before having more room in schedule, trying to save the dinero and get good deals on new texts and clickers and trying to make dinero making a resume and selling books and clickers and... trying not to forget about what went on at retreat and trying to pray for them and trying to make sense of and connect what God has been surfaced and now here and trying not to feel guilty about home and trying to be just... available to His promptings. trying to not get caught into the whole failing-to-be-stillness. trying to avoid the chaining thoughts. trying to have the right motivations in trying harder in academics. that's a lot of trying's the word trying is almost starting to look odd. (Doesn't that happen to you? When you stare at a word for a really long time, it starts to look... not right.) 

But then there goes the red flag. When there's this many trying's and uncluttered-ness... 

Loving Him and living for Him should not be a list of trying's.

God will fill my needs. God will discipline me. He will show me the things that He desires for me to know, to grow. 

And all I need to do is to want that. 

I can just admit, God, there is a lot on my mind. And it's scary how this uncluttered-ness can surface in a matter of hours, minutes. I need Your peace. You keep up with every thought of mine. Even though You... obviously have many other matters to attend, to be more concerned about. 

To align your will with His... 

I am going to go through a 21 day fast (Facebook and AIM. I almost feel free...) until the end of January, I am taking the challenge presented at IV Large Group. God has been building up the anticipation since summer, consistently, throughly, and specifically that He's going to reveal something about prayer, or rather about Him and about knowing Him through prayer. I am quite excited to go through The Prayer Driven Life with an awesome community. 

Other things that clutter my mind, especially during classes -__-: 

-My Spanish teacher gave me "homework" today, for me to watch a Jim Carrey movie this weekend. She was horrified when my partner said I don't know who he is. I hope I spelled his name right, because you might be horrified reading this. Anyways. I like my professor*** though. 

-I had a freaking dream about my camera the night before I finally picked it up because I was so thinking about it. So what happened is they delivered it to the 9500 Gilman Dr. location, which is where all these mountains of packages dwell with... it was like a field trip. Day 1 with my new camera has been wonderful. 

-Today in math class my professor (who I am sorry but is the least interesting math instructor I've had, I was very fortunate to have amazing math teachers all throughout high school) wrote SINE on the board as SIGN and... wrote it twice... never noticed it. I chuckled to myself.

-I KNEW I forgot to pack something. -__-...: my sky-blue zip-up hoodie, blue cardigan, and my purple notebook from retreat. I usually don't forget to take stuff, but manage to leave things behind. I am sad. Because my mom can't find the hoodie & the cardigan. But then again, I have enough clothes forreals. 

-I had my first golden spoon today. Showed my roomie that I indeed have the astonishing-to-others ability to not get brainfreezes, even with my also astonishing-to-others ability to consume yogurt/ice cream quite speedily (as opposed to my usual slow, "soomin stop talking, start eating"... pace of consuming most foods). 

Sigh. a good sigh, that is.

The kind of sigh that nods with the sunrise and the sunset. 

It hit me one day at retreat how beautiful it is that God looks not at our disposition, emotions, knowledge, awareness, circumstances, reputation, nor appearance, but at our hearts. 

Just makes so much sense.

He would. 

And how crazy is that His character remains constant to everyone, millions before us, with us, after us, who have been captivated by who He is. 

And it's funny how, we were convinced somewhere, somehow, that putting up fences, walls, and masks would be the kind of things that will make us content. Feel together. Feel valuable. When in reality, and with Him, and often times with others- signs of vulnerability are what breaks, what draws, what puts together, and what contents. 

Note to self: how to have a completely content, happy mouth and facial expressions for ten minutes: 

Boysenberry + Plain tart + NY Cheesecake + Almonds + Blueberries + Mochi + Gragnola @ Yogurtworld. 

I just realized after I posted this that this note doesn't go with what I wrote above. Haha. But actually, it's a recipe to have a happy heart for ten minutes too. For me at least

Even though it's the new year, I can't help but feel cluttered and think about unresolved things. New Year's Eve is usually my favorite day of the entire year. Because reflecting back on the year just makes me stand in awe of His provision, wisdom, sovereignty. Though my approach and desire for the new year have not changed, I feel more uneasy than usual. And why now? After God's been so faithful and present and revealing of Himself and His will the past week? 

Maybe because I'm not sure if those unresolved issues are really unresolved, or something that I need to accept? Or is it on my part? They bother me. I can't do anything about them though. But wait and trust that He will convict me to act if that's what He wants. I need to learn to leave it at that and not sink into the dreadful, familiar thoughts. 

I just said so myself a couple days back that it takes more faith to be broken. I think my failure to express this to another still says that I trust myself more than I trust in Him to compensate for my lack-of's, although I justify myself with various reasons with this tendency. 

And it's okay to leave it at that.

It's okay to leave a post like that.

empty handed but alive in Your hands. 

like the violin, even after being broken and battered, in the hands of its Maker.

i hope that's what i think of when i think of 2009 this time of the year next year.