Randomly came across this as I am finally unpacking and cleaning my room...
I think that my environments and situations in my life are there to shape me into a person God is planning to use for a specific purpose for Him. Why not a Navajo Indian or a European? I am not born with a perfect family. Our family is far from it. I'm the youngest and why in a family without a solid Christian faith... He has given me talents and provided me with the people and opportunities for me to be a good steward over these things. He gave me strong convictions and faith. Even the times I feel extremely lonely in my family or the fact that I have as much if not more needs than others... Every detail clearly shows they have shaped me to be who I am today. What I've also realized also is that I'm not originally a person who would be selfless but it's God who's affecting me to act more like Him. Without Him I'm a nobody and the environment I was born in made me depend on Him so much. I think right now His plan for me is to show His love to my family by caring for their needs in a Christlike manner. It's so hard and sometimes I question because I have so many needs myself. I think this missions trip was for me to get away from my home situation for awhile for me to ask God what to do and realize and prepare to be truly used as His instrument in my family. My insecurities and my shy personality have been challenged here. I have become some sort of a compassionate person and I...
can't find the second page. Haha.
Puhaha. I made some bold statements four years ago. My grammar is hopefully at a freshman-to-be-in-high-school level. I can't... actually I can? Imagine myself as a Navajo Indian or as a European person? Haha...
I just remember writing this furiously on the floor in the corner of the gym at the school in Utah. Things started to click. Little girl getting a glimpse of His truths.
The things that stand out the most is definitely the first sentence (Little girl, you have no idea... Wait. you are still a little girl? Little girl, you still have no idea). And.. 'caring for their needs in a Christlike manner'? Puhaha. Puha. Sigh.
So I'll be honest- the first question in my head is again, what changed?
And He tells me, all that He needed to change changed. All that He planned to.
I am actually tearing up typing this as He tells me this... and He got me, I just came back from
helping my mom buy her first macbook, followed by a car ride that I wish didn't happen.
Cup Your hands over my ears again, Daddy.
Take my eyes off of myself, turn it towards more beautiful things.
