So... Jesus Culture

When something doesn't leave your mind I think that's a sign. When all you can think about is something, or someone, well surely that means something. And at that point you almost get scared. Because you're about to dig into your mind. And your heart. Everything you know about the world... Hahaha not to be too dramatic but you get my point...

Point of no return, huh... 

I find myself thinking back on what Ryan Pfeiffer said about what we are really afraid of: What are we really afraid of? For the love of God to be the driving force of our lives. Because we are going to be out of control. Not in control of our lives. 

More than the fear of men- 

When we say, "Perfect love drives out fear", another phrase that has kept coming back to me this year... Yes, our love for people; God's compassion for them, should drive out fears of what they may possibly think (Okay, seriously, it's so silly when we tap into the Kingdom perspective. What is the worst thing that can happen? A frown... or feeling slightly awkward. So what??.), especially when He continuously shows us the eternal impact that we can make out of a single act of obedience. I am realizing that the phrase also reveals that it's when our love for God, our desire to be with Him, drives out this fear of feeling like we are not in control of our lives. It's kind of like falling in love with a person, I guess, you feel vulnerable and they indirectly take more and more control of your life. But you don't care, because you just want to be with them! Hm. And what's crazy is that there really is no reason or need for fear. He is a good God. Like one of the speakers said, we never regret giving God "too much"... but often of giving Him too little. 

Everything that Jesus ever did, does, including during His ministry on earth, was out of love. Whatever mind-blowing healings and miracles He did, it was out of love, and it was an invitation, not the end. Everything He did was out of love. Remembering this helped me throughout the conference a lot. 

I have sets of questions. More than questions, I feel like this is the beginning of something. Where this search will lead to, I don't know in terms of how we measure things. If there is any sort of measurement in His kingdom, though, is our hearts. I am just convinced that the more I seek Him, the more I'll find Him. I am also glad and thankful that God has provided people- mentors, peers, to talk to, grow with, question with, seek with. Ha. And surely there are people who have gone before me in this... journey. 

I want Your presence and I want to be fully present in Your presence. Haha... I don't think I know what I am really asking. What I mean is, I want to look right at You, I want to sing right to You. 

You are a God that we are meant to be in awe of. 

I mean, if you are GOD, you must be GOD, hahaha...