Today my dad and I hugged and cried together in the garage. 

And it felt good. 

I told him I'd just like to be alone 

But he still came and found me

He said he was sorry. 

That we have to hurt because of what he did. 

I said don't blame yourself. 

I said don't burden yourself with more burdens. 

Even though realistically, or maybe the me before, would say, some parts of it is his fault. 

It didn't matter. 

It doesn't matter.

I told him that I'll be okay, that I'm so sure, 

that even when I was crying to myself and trying to question God, 

I couldn't deny this confidence- 

It was as if He was protecting me from all the possible lies 

It really didn't make sense. 

I think that is His protection. 

I told him, but it's just that I can't be strong 

I can't be strong, I can't be strong 

But I need to be strong, I need to be strong 

For him, for mom, for my sister

and I am scared that me letting him see me like this 

will somehow make our situation seem more hopeless 

which does not at all, it really doesn't 

He started sobbing. 

I've never seen him crying- or more so- heard him sob. 

Felt him sob. 

We cried together. 

He held me. 

I let myself be held. 

I let myself cry.

He said you don't have to be strong, 

Come to Appa when you hurt.

You can't hold it together on your own. 

Those were words I was hungry for 

For a long time

Then I started patting him 

I  told him "He loves you..." 

I knew that He loved him

"I am sure, I am sure... "

"It will be worth it-" 

All I know is that that was one of the most beautiful things I experienced.