Mm. What better way is there to build trust... Than to not-be-in-control. Ahah. Duh Soomin...

Trying to take matters into my own hands vs. giving them over and over to Him...

Striving vs. surrendering.

Resting in His presence. 

You need to be rooted in His love and confident in His love for you (and others...) to be able to just... be. Blows my mind how counter-cultural this is. Yet it's one of the deepest longings of our hearts. That is definitely a taste of heaven to imagine a world where all these different roles, obligations, 'I need to-'s are taken off and people are content to just be. And because they are content to just be, they are content for others to just be. Man this sounds so abstract but at the same time, that is how God sees us! Past our titles, past our reputations, past our jobs, roles... and how He sees me... 

Losening my grip on things... whether it'd be school, ministry, relationships, reputation/image, 'roles',  finaces, even my understanding of where You're taking me- but instead to grow in anticipation and confidence in His goodness. All these things that 'mean a lot to me' for various reasons- but knowing that He knows how much they mean to me. Trusting really means to be confident that He knows me and will take good care of me. And He Himself means so much more to me than any of these things can ever mean. 

Mmm. Haha. I was hoping to blog when I would feel less cluttered... Be able to present something organized and tangible in my entry. But I don't think that's really going to happen soon... haha. Plus I sort of lack skills in that area. That's okay.

I guess what I want to say is that I know that this season that is wrapping up, still going on, Idk- was the most loving thing that He could do for me. He loves me so much that He would spend a whole quarter... and more to come I'm sure... grounding me in my identity in Him as solely His daughter. Peeling layers and layers of roles/responsibilities that I tend to take on depending on my environment/circumstances as a friend,  dorm team leader, student, leader at home church... It's okay for my first priority to just be with Him. Just as I am- not together. My priority is not to try to take control of all these ridiculous circumstances. That no matter what the world tells me, my culture tells me, even my thoughts tell me, that He lovess and delights in me being His baby... In just being.

Funny season for Him to teach me and stretch me in being an intercessor, too. But actually very clever and thoughtful of Him to, when I think about it. I really love how this book calls prayer the 'highest form of art' there is- And I realized that if (and I very much agree) prayer can be perceived as an art, then intercession can be seen as the expression of the Father's heart... Yeah... that reveals much about intercession and rest. The highest form of art. All artists want to and attempt to express something beautiful, that completely captivates them. Well, His heart is the most beautiful thing that I know there is, and captivates me like no other, and I would love to try to express it with whatever means I have.